Sharing bodily fluids never has the kind of connection as sharing heart-to-heart conversations and deep emotions.The reason you feel lonelier is because you're confusing sex with the intimacy and connection you crave on multiple levels.On one hand, you have to pretend you're fine with things, and on the other hand, the energy of you wanting more keeps you from being fine with things. If you think you can have sex like a guy, you're fooling yourself.Men and women experience the effects of sex differently. Oxytocin causes a woman to bond emotionally and misread the bond for something deeper, making it difficult to stay detached.
Playing with this low-risk approach may feel safe and less scary because the very nature of hooking up is about keeping things superficial and just having sex.
If you really the guy, trying to feel fine with sex and shallow conversation when you want more is tricky.