I hate dating

Like any other young digital platform, it still feels steeped in its wild west phase (think of what social media was a decade ago versus what it is now).

When Tinder first launched in 2012, I was fully entrenched in husbandhood, but even then I remember thinking "Wow, cute girls and the potential for nearly instant sexual encounters that won't end up with me in the back of a patrol car? " Because, after all, the proverbial grass is always greener.

What I found instead was the confirmation of my loneliness.

While dating services have existed since the inception of dating itself, the smartphone-driven version I and millions of others find themselves immersed in today is, relatively speaking, extremely young.

As I return to the world of singledom, I am greeted by a landscape that consists of microwave relationships forged on smartphones and a hookup culture that occurs with the flick of the wrist.

It's a landscape that, despite the woes of my single friends I thought I could navigate and maybe even enjoy.

The last time I went on a date as a single man my companion and I exchanged pager numbers.

My father taught me as a young man to never quit a job until you had a new one.I unwittingly carried that advice over into my relationships.This was only after purchasing a long distance calling card.Roughly eighteen years and one child later I find myself again single and to be frank, I'm too old for this shit.

Now as a single man in 2016 I'm faced with two facts that I conveniently ignored in back then. While push button sex would alleviate a lot of (ahem) frustration, there is a Russian roulette quality to hook up culture I, as of yet, have not been able to get out of my head as random diseases and baby mama's freak me out equally.The closest thing I have had to a hookup happened at a conference last year, and even then I ended up developing a friendship with the woman with whom I slept, which leads me to the second fact. Over the last twenty years (I'm 38 now) I have had three girlfriends and have been single all of five weeks not counting my days post marriage.



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