In this world of rampant divorce, cost reductions in plastic surgery and Botox, and improvements in the effectiveness of both diet and exercise, it is becoming more and more likely that whoever may be reading this column has fucked a MILF.
It’s not that hard to do anymore (not like it was ever that difficult, but you know, it sure has gotten easier—like your Mom): you simply find an expensive bar near an even more expensive shopping plaza, arrive before your average baby-sitter goes to sleep, find an older woman with a younger woman’s hairstyle, interrupt her conversation with a gray-haired and/or bald dude, be funny and charming, and get her out of there before her makeup catches up with the time of night.
Which means there are two situations in which you will regularly fuck your MILF girlfriend: one that’s been planned long in advance and more than likely involves a hotel room, or one in which the MILF discovers at the last minute that she has precisely 43 minutes for you to make her cum before she has to pick up Conner at the daycare or ballpark or friend’s house or gymnastic hut (gymnastic gym? With MILFs, the mornings spent pulling tubes and watching cartoons waiting for you and your girlfriend to find some kind of activity to occupy the time between fucking, is gone.
You wake up and you have something to do and somewhere to go or she will find somewhere for you to go and do something.
As the man says: all knowledge is learning and therefore good.
To some of us, this older woman search is second nature, to others it is an act of desperation, and to some it is a simple curiosity.
But regardless of male motivation, MILF hunting is becoming a more common sport, one where the line between predator and prey is not easily distinguished, and one that has been written about to such a degree that it’s not even worth your average whore reporter’s time to broach the subject.
In a way, they’re not that different from non-mother whores in this respect.
However, this whore reporter has noticed something in both his own life and in the lives of others: some men (and I am guilty of this as well) are actually dating these mid-life crises with breast augmentations and many of these some men have no idea what in the Fig Newton’s they are getting involved in when they date a MILF.
Fortunately, and as you are aware, you have me and I have a computer.