I didn’t know how often this man sleeps around on his wife. What I did know is that I am not the cause for whatever had him out seeking sexual relations with other women.Part of the reason, aside from moral misgivings, that I had been so hesitant to sleep with an attached man is because as someone who identifies as polyamorous, I advocate for open and honest communication of one’s desires and inclinations in a relationship. Cheating really does hurt; I know that hurt all too well.Sure, I’m probably not helping by getting involved, even if only peripherally, but to be honest I don’t really feel like I ought to have to check every man for a marriage license before jumping into bed with him. I met him at a bar, we got to talking, and we left the bar together.It wasn’t until we were on our way to his friend’s house that it came out that he was married.I had sex with a married man and I don’t feel at all badly about it.Now before you get all judge-y, as I’m sure you’ll be wont to do, let me explain myself a little.
I was looking forward to the casual rendezvous, but when I discovered he was married I started to have second thoughts.After a short conflict within myself, I decided I was going to do it anyway.There was a time when sleeping with someone who was attached – married, in a relationship, whatever it was – was entirely outside of my realm of comfort.It was an absolute no-go for me, especially after what I went through with my last relationship (quick recap: my ex had been cheating on me, in my house, in my bed with his boss for months, before finally telling me – and only finally doing that, via frigging Facebook, nonetheless, because he’d knocked her up).
So I was hypersensitive to such circumstances for a while.
But then, somewhere along the way, I somehow became less dogmatic about my reticence to sleep with attached men…and then suddenly, I found myself in bed with a married man and not feeling at all badly about it. Firstly, the marital troubles of two people aren’t on me.